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Old 03-17-2011, 05:26 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
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Originally Posted by mattw1970 View Post
Ive talked to both of them about it and I guess it will be put upon me to say no more threesomes with them but then I feel it takes away from some intimate time that K and I share
Is this normal and will things settle down once K and A's NRE settles down ?
Yes I think I would end the threesomes... your partner might be disappointed, but it sounds like you are not getting out of it what you would like and they are actually causing more strain than fun times. Ya, I would say that is done for now...

If you feel this new partner cuts into your time with your partner then its time to sit and negotiate some boundaries around time together. Maybe it's time to plan your weeks out a bit better so that time is managed more effectively. This new person could have certain times and days and you could have others. You could keep it flexible in case events come up that you or this other woman want to go on, but other than that you can all rely on your time with your partner.

It's also important to schedule time all three of you spend together too. Keeping those bonds strong is important when the time comes to deal with some hard communication or when something happens and you are all needed to pitch in to help out.

The sex will die down and the NRE will settle in time... it can take up to a year or more. Sex kind of blinds what the real relationship is like for a time as does the rose coloured glasses one wears when a new lover is nothing but "perfect" in ones eyes... It is a wise thing to remember, I think, that your partner is going through NRE. You might save yourself some stress by light heartedly laughing at her in a loving way and appreciating her glee in this new relationship (compersion)... taking a breath and letting it go can work wonders in terms of NRE if you can do that... once you have some boundaries that work for everyone, then sit back, do your own thing and let them have their fun... without you being in the bedroom with them
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