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Old 03-17-2011, 02:01 AM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Oregon, USA
Posts: 1,444

Originally Posted by marksbabygirl View Post
What constitutes sex for you? Kisses, mutual masturbation, intercourse, anal, oral?
Hugs and kisses count as intimacy for me, as does lying next to one another, sitting on one's lap, or basically any form of contact. The more you touch, the more you can feel connected, in my experience.

For me, sex is when the contact, rather than relaxing and soothing you, has the opposite effect of excitement, accelerated heartbeat and so on. So, kissing can qualify as either I would say. Mutual masturbation, or self-masturbation while communicating (be it by phone, over the Internet, in person, etc) count as sex, as do intercourse, anal sex and oral sex. For me, these are always in the "my heartbeat gets faster and I'm sexually aroused" category, while kisses can be or not.

For that reason, I would probably count kisses and caresses as foreplay, because they might lead to sex or not, they might be sexual or not. All of the rest I would consider to be the "main dish".

Originally Posted by marksbabygirl View Post
What constitutes fluid bonded? Kissing? mutual masturbation? bareback intercourse? oral?
Fluid bonded is when there is an exchange of fluids with no barriers. It doesn't need to be a reciprocal exchange, for instance with masturbating a partner, you get their fluids on your hand while not "exchanging" anything yourself. Fluids would include saliva, vaginal secretion, pre-come and ejaculate. I guess pre-come might count as ejaculate too?
I think I would count lubricant too. In some acts that can be the only fluid (manual-anal for instance) yet if both partners are in contact with the same lubricant, that still feels more intimate than using a barrier. In that case the lubricant isn't part of either partner, but it serves to link them regardless, and in a way becomes part of both of them... if I'm making sense.

Originally Posted by marksbabygirl View Post
How important is fluid bonding when it comes to your new partners?
Fluid bonding is important to me, but less important than the health of my partners (the current ones or the new ones). I would want to switch to fluid bonded as early as possible if it is safe and possible (if I had a partner that I don't get to see very often, I probably wouldn't feel comfortable having unprotected sex with them).

Originally Posted by marksbabygirl View Post
Where, in a relationship do you talk about fluid bonding and how does that affect you in your dating?
Well, I haven't had a lot of serious relationships, and they both started long distance, so there was a lot of time to talk about that. I assume I would talk before having sex the first time, be it only to make sure we're on the same page about having protected sex at first (unless we have 3 months ahead to get tested and don't get new partners in the meantime. In which case I would do that first and be fluid bonded from the first time).

If I couldn't be fully fluid bonded with someone, I think being able to kiss them would make it easier to cope with, because that would create the intimacy that fluid bonding does (as it's a form of fluid bonding, and a pretty safe one too, comparatively).
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