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Old 03-17-2011, 01:49 AM
RobFire RobFire is offline
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Milford, Michigan
Posts: 29
Default Just Desserts

Originally Posted by RitaFire View Post
Sometimes I feel conflicted as far as getting involved with someone who is cheating. Likely my conflict is clouded by my infatuation, and my brain rationalizes it as being ok. But...I think I did feel some resentment towards Rob for not wanting me to become involved with someone who I did care deeply for, because the man was married and cheating. Rob was being logical about it. I know Rob meant well and wanted me to not become involved out of love and care for me. Likely the man would have lied to me if he was willing to lie to his wife, I may end up feeling hurt, and it was not fair to the man's wife. Rob also made a good point that someone who does that lacks courage.

I think I felt resentment because I don't want to feel like I am being controlled as to who I can and cannot date. I don't become infatuated or get attached to someone very easily, but when I do it is hard and fast, and I want to take action on it as soon as possible. Its raw, primitive, and I don't want to be stopped. That is what was going thorough my head. Emotions and sexual energy running rampant. Need to keep my ID in check though. And be fair to Rob and to all others involved. I can't just think about myself and my primitive needs. But it can be difficult. Plus...I certainly would want to be ok with whomever Rob would have been dating. I am a hypocrite and this causes guilt feelings in me.

Has anyone ever had anything positive come out of being involved with someone who was cheating on their partner?
We just had a talk about the feelings that Rita has that made the idea of being with these men exciting.

I am a little at a loss when trying to relate, though I do really want to see her side of the equation.

On my side of the equation the idea just scares me for the following reasons:
  • I do not want to see my wife become emotionally invested in someone who may get her embroiled into a hurtful, painful outing when they are eventually found out.
  • I do not sit well with the concept that my wife would be engaging in deceptive behavior herself. It's almost like giving tacit approval for deceit and dishonesty, even though it may not be directed at me.
  • My wife deserves soooooooooooo much better, and I feel she'd be ultimately short-changing herself and taking her time and energy away from other more fruitful relationships.
It's really good she's on here. I am hoping that seeing what joy and excitement an honest new relationship can bring, it will cast a heavier shadow on the "dirty little secret" scenario.
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