The surprises for me:
- that after two years of open marriage that was de facto mono, I could fall in love back to back with two men in two months.... and two men who were coworkers, too (they were extremely different in other ways, though)
- that I really don't have "slots". I would have done my best to manage all three (Raga, Seamus, W) at once if given the chance, and right now, after breaking up with Raga and being turned down by W, I have zero need to go for someone else at the moment. I am definitely attracted to specific people, and don't have a "perfect" number of partners that I need to be at to be happy.
- that people might understand you or not, reject or accept you, but there is really no way to predict their reaction until you come out to them.
- that you have to count your relationship with yourself, too, and take a good care of it as you would a relationship with anyone else
- that as much as I thought sex was important to me, I need emotional intimacy, communication and respect a lot more. When it (sex) is there, it's just some kind of bonus that doesn't matter so much either way. When it's not, I'm not the one who will notice.