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Old 03-16-2011, 11:32 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,008

Originally Posted by dingedheart View Post

I'm unsure as to how you think I'm blaming bdsm for any of this.....I think I said repeatedly I blame them for being stupid ...go back I know I did. I know I said have fun do what you want to yourself and or partners....don't care... I'm not telling anyone here what not to do except perhaps suggesting not to expose their children to it.

I have a problem with two individuals not the kink community. And lets not forget this was dropped on me I didn't go looking for a moral discussion on kink. If I had wanted to I could have done that months ago.

What is that hook thing called??? Should be fun to see who gets picked to go buy it....who will and who and will refuse.

Thanks got to go D
Dinged, everything you say up until a certain point seems to indicate that you genuinely trying not to judge her for the BDSM she was involved with... and I feel hopeful for you UNTIL you say, "What is that hook thing called??? Should be fun to see who gets picked to go buy it....who will and who and will refuse. " which is so vindictive and scary and totally as far away from trying to having an open mind as you possibly could be. I can almost hear an evil laugh coming out of your remarks like that. It is so-o-o not funny. I still say your anger is misplaced. I do understand it, though, because this is a heartbreaking situation, but I hope that your anger doesn't eat away at you. After focusing on your kids, it seems you are preoccupied with what they did in the bedroom. Hopefully that need will subside and you will be able to look more at how she mismanaged her relationship with you and the family.

All these venomous feelings you have toward her might come back to bite you in the ass, as resentments usually do. Have you spoken to your therapist, to help you deal with this? Because from what you write here, you're trying to handle things for your daughter and son but not quite helping yourself to heal from it. I know it's beyond difficult for anyone of us to imagine what you and your family is going through, and I do have compassion for that. I also hope you understand that this kind of talk about revenge and shaming your wife is quite indicative of how much you are hurting. However, you've been told she is suicidal! How will you feel if she takes her own life? It seems that everyone is hurting here and I hope you can try to separate the issues to be able to see more clearly the person underneath her behaviors.
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Last edited by nycindie; 03-17-2011 at 07:59 AM.