Hey, what's up with the "paying" comments? Marriage is a legal partnership, not ownership (regardless of the role playing your wife was doing), and the money is 50/50, so anything "you" pay for (including her physical therapy, or psychiatric treatment, regardless of what caused her need) was still coming out of a marital pool of money/benefits, was it not? I mean, was her name not on the checking account? Did you have some big prenuptual agreement stating that all the money was to remain separate?
Sorry to be defensive here, but the old views of "the man is the one who makes the money," well those are just old fashioned and sexist, and DH you strike me as slightly more enlightened than that.