So, I was tempted to come up with some sort of pun on the phrase "penny for your thoughts" or maybe even the old Penny Dreadfuls, but I figured after a while I'd get tired of the title of my own blog and I'm not feeling particularly clever right now anyhow.
I already told my story, at least the beginning, in detail in my intro thread. There's a link to that post in my signature. I'll just go over it in brief here.
My husband (Thumper) and I have been together for 11 years, married for 3, or something close to that. We have a beautiful 6 year old daughter. I got involved with my boyfriend, T-Rex, about 8 months ago.
It's been an amazing experience. I mean, not that the road has been completely bumpless, but we went into it with openness and honesty, and poly has been such an overwhelmingly positive experience for us, it blows my mind.
Thumper and T-Rex are friends and we have great times together. I am surrounded by affection and, at 42, feel sexier than ever with these two gorgeous guys who treat me so well.
I mean, I cherish my alone time with each of them. In fact, the alone time is essential. But, wow, when they both start lavishing me with sexual attention at the same time, my brain just melts right out of my head.
Thumper is my rock, my island, my ally against the world. We can talk our way through anything together and love each other in a deep, abiding way. And he's sexy as hell.
T-Rex is... different. I'm not sure how, and I see now that I have something to gain from writing about it. I will revisit this in a later post. He's handsome, fun, incredibly easy-going, and also sexy as hell.
Disillusioned asked me some questions in another thread, and I said I'd answer them here. Seems a good enough place to start...
Originally Posted by disillusioned
Wow Penny, I just read your story... thats so wild. Was the reason you wanted to open up the relationship sexual? Because I can imagine a story where a married woman meets someone, falls in love with him, but then doesn't want to leave the husband and the whole thing comes up... but here it sounds like you first talked about it and then met someone ... so why did it come up in the first place? If it was just for sexual reasons, why not swing or.. something like that? Did you feel a need for a new relationship from an emotional pov?
My husband and I agreed with the notion of polyamory on an intellectual level before trying it out. We aren't afraid to question conventional morality and tend to lead our life just making it up as we go along. He's never been the jealous type, and I have a flirty personality. I've never had any compunction against telling him when I find someone attractive.
He's interested in swinging, but I need more. I can't get into casual encounters. I mean, I find lots of people attractive, but I need more in order to get to the point where I'd act on it.
I didn't feel a need for another relationship and Thumper is a great lover so I wasn't feeling any lack in the bedroom department. Still, Thumper wasn't comfortable with the idea of having other partners if I wasn't also involved with others. I had no problem intellectually with the idea of being with someone else, but the work involved in a relationship just wasn't worth it to me unless it was with someone who really blew my socks off.
One relationship is enough of a commitment of time and energy. If I was going to actually take a lover, it had to be someone spectacular... like my husband, but different.
T-Rex joined our gaming group (we play tabletop rpgs) via a mutual friend. I was attracted to him immediately, and we all became friends with him (me, Thumper, and the group that is like family to me). He fit right in. I never hid my crush on him from Thumper, who would tease me about it. I flirted with T-Rex who enjoyed it, though I know I made him nervous sometimes.
He says he liked us all so much, he didn't want to screw it up. He's not the sort of guy who would get involved in a cheating situation, and he didn't want to be disrespectful to Thumper by flirting with his wife. He told me he enjoyed our conversations via the internet before then, but they felt rather intimate and he would back away from them after a few exchanges because he started feeling guilty.
I can totally respect that. He's a good guy. I only ever go for the good guys.
Anyhow, after he'd been hanging out with us for about nine months (I don't move very fast... until I do), I suggested him to Thumper as a part of our occasional ongoing discussion of opening our marriage. I got the approval, and Thumper mentioned to the group as a whole that we were opening our marriage, deliberately in front of T-Rex, and asked advice about a girl he was interested in that we all knew.
T-Rex went out of the country for a week on vacation immediately after Thumper made that announcement. I figured it would give him time to think about it.
When he came back, there was a difference in the way he looked at me. I emailed him either the next day or the day after that (I don't remember which). I titled the email "Cards on the table..." and laid it out for him.
We got together that night, both nervous as hell... it was so cute, after my friends went home from gaming while Thumper (who works nights) was at work.
At first we kept it separate, but recently we've been having great fun having threesomes. Thumper is sort of bi, but not attracted to masculine men, and T-Rex is straight. I love it when we all hang out together. I love to cook, and there's something sexy about cooking for two men who are going to bang the daylights out of me later. And we cuddle and watch movies, or I snuggle down between them as they play video games. I love listening to them geek out about anime and gaming. We're such nerds.
I am ecstatically happy with the situation. Seriously. Over the moon.
As TruckerPete says in the title of her blog, this is a lot of work. But DAAAMN, is it worth it!