just wanted to drop in really quickly and give out an update. i did have a very short convo with my husband. he actually had been mentioning that he knew, cognitively, that none of us were ready for any of us to have babies. although i think romantically and sentimentally he still wants them right now. so i used that as a small platform. i asked if he and she were tired of worrying about accidents, had they thought of alternative birth control. right now they only use condoms. he said he had thought about that, and so had she, but not to much length. she had a lady dr appointment last week, but because of childhood trauma, was a little too wrecked to focus on more than the basic procedure. this also brought home the point to him, and he mentioned to her, that if she were to get pregnant at any point there would be lots and lots of dr visits. i think that had them both thinking. which is good. thinking is what we need to remember to do.
so nothing really accomplished, but i'm ok moving this slow. he knows how i feel, and he seems to be in control of his baby desires for the time being. that's all i ask for.
in the meantime, i'm having to get ahold of my own baby desires. the more time passes, the more i know i want at least one. but i know our situation is not ready. i can't help thinking if he had asked for a baby instead of a girlfriend 3 months ago, we'd be somewhere completely different. >.< c'est la vie
i'm willing to wait, to see where all this is going. i just hope everyone else is too.