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Old 03-15-2011, 06:13 PM
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ray ray is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 819

@ Preciselove - I would disagree that emotion vs logic is about coddling versus truth. But I do think that sometimes it is necessary to weigh how your words will effect some one. At a summer camp I attended, the director used this three question method to teach the kids how to filter stuff. And it may seem a bit cheesy, but I think it can be useful. She would ask Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary? For instance, if something is true but it's not necessary or kind, then why say it? If it's going to hurt some one and there's no real need to say it, then what's the point? That would be considering their emotions. Sometimes, something is not kind but it's true and necessary. When that happens, you should do your best to relay the information appropriately, still considering their emotions. And I think that the cultural value of logic as superior to emotions is a burdensome construct. Logic is not better. It's like saying that an orange is superior to an apple. They're different. You use them for different things and they can complement each other.

@ GS - I agree that it's not talked about enough. I'm glad it's getting some discussion here. I tend to do something similar where I let myself feel intensely, calm down and then discuss my emotions using a more logical perspective. Kind of like I'm analyzing some one else. I find the approach helps me to make more grounded decisions that can consider the options more fully.

@ RP - That was a great video. TED has such amazing stuff. Men are definitely pushed to stuff down their emotions when learning to integrate them would be so much healthier. I've definitely noticed some resentment cropping up for me in regards to people I'm close to (the 'logical' ones) because ultimately my emotional needs are overlooked. And when I try to communicate what they are and how to help, it's like I'm speaking Turkish. I find I get less passionate about it with acquaintances simply because the ideas being communicated are usually less complex.

@ Ari - I like the front end vs back end idea. Usually I see one or the other sitting in the driver's seat in a person. The other is still there but it's not as prominent per se. My emotions are definitely on the front end but I can still use my logical skills. Sometimes it takes more effort but I like to think those skills are improving.

My big thing right now is why do we see logical is superior. I suppose that it's because we align it with masculinity which is also viewed (talking macro-level, theoretical here) as superior. It is so acceptable for people to down play emotion and dismiss it. I'm tired of being told by society that I'm less than or less intelligent because I am an emotional person. That wanting to care about a cause or people is naive and a waste of time. If the world was all logic, there would be very few humanitarian groups. In the end, much humanitarian work can be "a drop in the ocean" but that doesn't mean it doesn't matter or shouldn't be done. But it takes individuals who care even if it is 'irrational' or 'naive.'
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