Originally Posted by PLove
I agree that we do need to work on the betrayal of trust and have been doing that. He gets frustrated at times with my time-table and wonders when I'm going to get over my feelings, but I do feel like we're in early days here and that in all fairness it's a lot to expect that I would be over everything in 4 weeks.
Oh hell yes! He gets a big ol' slow the eff down while you catch up to everything that's happened in the last month.
And yeah, I totally understood what you meant by coming late to the relationship.
I would suggest you do a tag search for NRE (New Relationship Energy). It sounds like hubby is more than a little blinded at the moment. NRE generally lasts 6-12 months, but sneaking around would have slowed down the natural progression of NRE into a stable state. As well, with your acceptance now on the table, the entire dynamic has changed and there's going to be a burst of NRE with that, as well. I would bet he's got all sorts of bubbly future fantasies going on and needs a bit of a reality check.
If he's open to it, hubby should get on here, too. Don't worry, we won't rail on a cheater-turned-poly who is genuinely trying to make things work. We have a number of senior members who came to poly that way.