@Hades36: I agree, I am doing what a lot of guys are doing, albeit I'm doing it openly. I think this is easier for me as a woman - I can tell a bloke that I'd like to have sex with him, but that I'm not looking for an exclusive relationship and that I'm seeing other men, and he is unlikely to back off. With women of course it's very different - because of the model of relationships which is socially acceptable (i.e. 'dating' leads to exclusive monogamy, and matrimony, which is what 'all women want' - i.e. need within a patriachal society - but which to obtain we must deny the man sex until promised commitment).
I am sexually active with all of the men I'm seeing - the one man with whom I had an intense emotional connection (but - at least on my part - no sexual connection) wanted more than I was able to give, so we parted ways.
Of course safe sex is a must!
And I don't actually know what I want, which in part, I suppose, is where the confusion arises. I certainly don't want another long term relationship in which I totally depend on my partner for my social / emotional / sexual needs, because that didn't end well last time!
Oh and I completely agree with your three rules. I also have a preference for the men in my life to be honest with other women that they are seeing, but of course I can't control anyone else's behaviour.
Interestingly, although I'm in my mid-30s, the men I'm seeing do tend to be in their 20s. Men my age are more likely to be condemning / judgmental of my behaviour, and I have learnt (the hard way, of course!) not to have sex with people who disapprove of my activities.
Anyway, all interesting stuff. Thanks for your post.