Originally Posted by Carma
I kinda like "other wife/other husband," because others are not quite sure if you are joking, you know?!
I guess in a triad (or vee) that would work, but if you have more than two partners of the same gender it can become a problem. I mean, would you say "this is my wife, and my other wife, and my other, other wife"?
I think I would just say "this is X and Y, my husbands", if I see both of them as husbands, that is. And then when talking about them, I could say "my first/second/third husband", etc, I guess. Chronologically, that is, it's not about any hierarchy here.
Although I'm getting divorced so I guess that would be confusing too, my first husband won't be my husband for much longer, yet he'll still be my first husband...
Anyway, I find that I have 3 brothers, and no problem differentiating between them. I just use first names, and if someone can't place them I add a few details. I don't see why it should be different for partners, even if you use the same word. If you have a similar relationship with them, I don't see why you couldn't use the same term as well.
Honestly, I wouldn't like being the "other" anything. I don't know why. I guess there are too many negative connotations to being "the other woman". I'd be fine being the girlfriend or the wife, whether the other partner is herself the girlfriend, the wife, the boyfriend, the husband or anything else. I'd be fine with having a number attached to it if it's purely chronological. But I really wouldn't like being the "other" something. Not on a regular basis, that is. If either of us is the "other one" depending on the context, then that's fine.