I'm so new to the poly life style I still have the new poly smell! Ok bad joke, But I'm not new to being a human being.
I can understand the wife's issue, She afraid. Afraid of loss. The best thing at this stage is to give her time, support her decision,show her you're on her side too and much of here fear will start to diminish. The emotional dynamics of this life choice is startlingly complex. Love, patience and kindness are the corner stones of a successful transition from a mono to a poly lifestyle. I'm no expert here, just a man who's had to work on his "stuff" at a level I didn't think possible but that has made a difference in a very short period of time.
The people here are awesome, and straight shooters. In the short week I've, been here they've call me on my "stuff" and made me look at what's really going on in my life and my relationship.