RP, I agree that moving long distance and living together right away is usually a good way to ensure a rocky relationship that ends fairly quickly, whether it's mono or poly.
We both had our reservations about it but at the time I had been unemployed for long enough to run through my savings and he wanted to support me while I got back on my feet. Living nearby would not have been an option as I didn't have the funds for it and honestly I don't know what I would have done if he hadn't been there for me at that time. The inequity in our earnings, or my lack thereof, was a huge source of stress for me and probably for him as well though he's never expressed any kind of dissatisfaction or resentment due to that. I'm glad to have been able to do what I have since my situation has improved but I wanted to do so much more.
He was single when I moved in. It was just the two of us for about 7 months. So both of his other relationships knew I was part of his life from the beginning and I've had to do the adjusting to new schedules and direction of his attention.
I like the calendar idea but I doubt I could get him to go along with it. He tends to do things spontaneously and resists being pinned down. Same with the texting. It's just one of those things I have to accept about him and find my own work around to achieve a level of comfort I can deal with. I suspect things will improve once I move out.