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Old 09-17-2009, 12:57 AM
Ceoli Ceoli is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: London, UK
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DarkHorseJ27 View Post
I can understand Miranda's perspective. She has never fallen for any one person like this, let alone two. And being the third isn't easy. But she doesn't have anything to worry about, she is a nice and wonderful person. Like Lissy, she gets insecure, but for the lack of a better word, she is more mature, being 13 years older. I tell her that Lissy and I love her too much for us to ever be mad at her, and that makes her feel better, but I can still tell she is insecure.
Speaking as someone with experience of being a third, the insecurity doesn't always stem from a fear of rejection or fear of someone being mad at them. It can also stem from the general vulnerability of the position in the relationship. It can be about how decisions are made and who makes them. It can be about historical knowledge that the couple may have with each other that the third lacks. Basically, I'm saying it's not always about fear, but about lack of foundation.

As for the other issues, if there are triggers that run that deep and cause that much damage in her life then it needs to be addressed. That's simply not sustainable and honestly, I don't think it's terribly fair to subject an additional person to such instability. From what you've described in this and other posts, it seems like there's a lot of potential for things to blow up in a bad way.
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