So,...Let me see if I have this correct,....
You admit that all this has happened 'quickly'.
Despite the fast pace, the only thing your bf`s wife has requested, is no overnights. You can have time until 3 am.
She hasn`t forbid sex, or interactions alone, love, or what you can do with your bodies,...
She just wants her husband in bed with her.
Not at 11 pm, or home early.....basically, you get him half of the night, and the other half she wants him in their bed .
Have I got this correct ?
I am a little surprised at the frustration that seems to be in this post. It reads like a you and him, versus his wife. Thats not right. This is a new relationship and as far as 'boundaries' go, this is a very mild boundary for such a new relationship.
Whatever her reasons may be, she deserves time to figure this out for herself, and not be treated like she is not admitting to something, or holding up your idea of the perfect relationship.
You seem to have preconcieved notions of how she thinks, and feels. Who she is, and why she does what she does.
I think you need to let that go, and find a more compassionate side before you can even see the 'real' reasons, nevermind her addressing them.
Compassion begets compassion. Judgement gets you judgement in return.
By your own words, even with the resentment showing through, she doesn`t sound like a bad person.