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Old 03-13-2011, 07:44 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 8,773

C needs to schedule dates with you, just like he does with Misty. He can't expect you to play the bored housewife, sheesh! If I were you, I would tell him that's one of the things you NEED for it to work. He's the one choosing to have two relationships, you can't do all the work for him. Tell him to step up.

Oh, and please don't buy him a car and go into debt for that! When I read that I felt like sicking Suze Orman on you! He seems like a bit of a user, and I fear that you are allowing him to take advantage of you in the name of love.

For me, this was the most significant part of your post:
Originally Posted by PenguinDreams View Post
I'm sick of being the default girlfriend . . . I want to be the chosen one and not the default. I want to know that when he does come to see me it's because he wants to be with me and not just because he's home and I happen to be there too. I want to come visit him and be the one that gets to hole up in the spare room behind closed doors and not be left out. And most importantly, I want to know when I can expect to be alone and when I can see him and I want to have control over that

. . . Am I asking for too much?
No, you are not asking too much. You want to feel valued and he is not showing you that.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

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