Originally Posted by MrFarFromRight
Like nycindie, I'd say that it's a personal thing with me: that, considering myself (among other definitions) a feminist, I find it hard to imagine a master/slave dynamic as having much to do with love and mutual respect.
You're making the assumption that all Doms are male and all subs are female?
There are female Dommes with male slaves or subs, and gay males and ardent feminist lesbians of both proclivities, Dom or sub, for example. (Google "On Our Backs" magazine.)
I KNOW that everybody's got a perfect right to make their own life decisions... but I don't necessarily have to agree that those life decisions are emotionally / psychologically healthy. I once knew a guy who used to burn his arms with lit cigarettes. Sure he had a right to do that, but I doubt that he was very happy with himself.
I'm going to draw down scorn on my head for this, but I worry about people who NEED to dominate/humiliate others - or who NEED to be dominated/humiliated. And I'd be willing to repeat that sentence substituting "get their kicks when they" for "NEED to". (Even if it is "only a role game with strictly observed rules".) Sorry (not actually sorry), but that's not my idea of love.
Well-considered D/s can be quite healthy for both parties. "Good" Masters/Mistresses are concerned foremost for the (physical and emotional) health of their sub, believe it or not.
I do understand the shock factor tho. Now, I am into several kinks on the BDSM spectrum, but 11 years ago when I read the Ethical Slut, I recall being shocked by a lesbian group sex/play party/fisting scene graphically described therein. I thought that bit had nothing to do with being polyamorous and almost put the book down at the time because of that.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
There's no lying in polyamory!
I'm a 58 year old woman with 2 partners:
miss pixi, my live-in gf, 36 (together since Jan '09)
Ginger, bf, 61, married, lives nearby (together since Jan '12)