....So......I did what you suggested. I went and talked to her at length about how I feel and what I thought this was all about, dissatisfaction with me, her excitement of a younger man etc. I discussed without censoring or pretending to like this idea exactly how I felt and of my fear of loss. We had one of the best nights we've had in years. We went on a date and continued to talk well into the night. The truth is I was and have been flat out wrong. I've been projecting my own fears onto her and this situation without actually talking to her. I'm feeling pretty damn dumb right now, She listened and understood the concerns I brought forward, and we're working together to overcome the things that currently exist and get in the way of this experience. My reaction was just flat out panic, panic based on old tapes of life experience and past relationships where lying and betrayal were the norm. I have stuff to work on it seems.
I mind my own business and keep my own council, but it's clear I need to start talking about what's really going on (with her) and stop acting like a.....frightened pissed off child.
I cannot tell you how much I appreciate the council and direction from those here. I'm going to hang around if that's Ok, and continue to learn and study how this works. My wife is now aware that I'm posting here about this and may in fact stop by.
nycindie, redpepper, River, beodude123, and vodkafan thanks for taking the time to stop by and offer both advice and a gentle boot to the ass to get talking about this. What a difference a day makes.
P.S. her date never happened, we went out instead.