i love that you pointed out to lemondrop that she might be experiencing things differently yoxi. I explain it to monoPVCG that I have the same amount of love for him as I do for my husband. he just expanded my heart by allowing me to love him so much... kind of like the Grinch that stole Christmas. The more I love people and they allow me to show them love the more I have to give... my heart get bigger and bigger. I am more and more happy and feel as if I am spreading it outward and inviting it back. I have always been like that and when I haven't been I am depressed and feel vulnerable and grumpy. This is definitely the way for me.
As for Smilinlol I think that is really the bottom line... choice. Denying someone the choice and allowing choice to be denied to you is perhaps a recipe for disaster.
I'd love to know how both of you work it out smilinlol and lemondrop. Please come back and tell us some time? I think it so important to learn from one another and am so interested in how you manage.... of course part of it is that I have genuine concern for your well being also.