Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn
My metamour is in a really bad place now. My prospective partner says it's something they'll have to fix together. The wife is considerably less into polyamory - this has come up before, prior to me.
But how to make her see it's not that she is loved any less, but the exact opposite is occurring?
It sounds to me like this may be something that she has to work through with her husband and there is probably not much you can do. One thing though is to just be EXTREMELY honest and open and just let her know that you will not do anything without her knowledge and that you are not there to interfere/come between her relationship with her husband. making that very clear and that you love both of them, may make her feel more secure and more able to move forward. I am betting that probably her biggest fear is that in loving you he will love her less, or even that with you in the picture he will stop loving her. These are fears I have struggled with, so that is my guess.
I hope that helps!