Thanks for the replies. No my wife has not yet joined. I don't have intentions of getting my feet wet yet as I am still trying to figure this all out. As most can imagine it's been an incredibly difficult for both of us but we are hopeful for the best as we both seem willing to work together. Most of my questions have to deal with understanding as I view myself as "Mono" but I don't want to assume. She has been great and understanding of my fears and feelings and is waiting for me to work through all this. She says she just feels relieved to be able to finally admit to herself and to me and that I didn't run away.
Thank you for the great search tips.