I've got involved / contributed to a thread or two that I found interesting and which I later realised were about relationships based on BDSM. I wonder if the comments I made were seen by more clued-in members as being very naive.
, I'd say that it's a personal thing with me: that, considering myself (among other definitions) a feminist, I find it hard to imagine a master/slave dynamic as having much to do with love and mutual respect. I KNOW
that everybody's got a perfect right to make their own life decisions... but I don't necessarily have to agree that those life decisions are emotionally / psychologically healthy. I once knew a guy who used to burn his arms with lit cigarettes. Sure he had a right to do that, but I doubt that he was very happy with himself.
I'm going to draw down scorn on my head for this, but I worry about people who NEED to dominate/humiliate others - or who NEED to be dominated/humiliated. And I'd be willing to repeat that sentence substituting "get their kicks when they" for "NEED to". (Even if it is
"only a role game with strictly observed rules".) Sorry (not
), but that's not my idea of love.
I would definitely be against setting up a BDSM ghetto on here. But a ghetto is where you're confined. If there was a BDSM section - as nycindie
suggests - that
doesn't prevent them from wandering over the rest of the site. It just means that topics with a heavy BDSM slant were where those interested could easily find them... and others who don't want to read those topics could stay away.