Originally Posted by nycindie
Um, why "possibly have sex?" Why not just have coffee together first? If you think this will hurt your marriage so much, why move so fast? Do you want to explore polyamory or swinging? If it's polyamory, you can slow down a little. She doesn't need to jump right into balling a strange guy!
Freetime, I suggest you look for posts and threads by a member here called Vodkafan. He is monogamous and his wife is polyamorous and has another male partner. You will see how they have made poly really work for them very well. In the "Struggling Mono" thread
Vodkafan said, "The fact is that I did this because my wife is worth sharing. I would not do it for anyone else."
Funny you should mention the swinging thing. When this first got started it was around the fantasy of a 3some, try something new and adventurous.However, it soon came about that my wife had a different idea, that idea being a long term relationship with another man. Wee bit of a difference there I'd say. And as to why have sex? Well that's not a for sure thing, but if the opportunity is there, hey why not? Once again I'm the husband not the owner. her choices are hers.
I will indeed read Vodkafans thread/post. I absolutely agree with him, my wife is worth it. I just don't like it.
Question do I bring up my feelings before or after her date? If I do so beforehand it seems like I'm trying to control her/ stop here from doing what she wants. Truthfully I'm so emotionally challenged right now i have no idea what to do.