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Old 03-10-2011, 05:55 PM
MrFarFromRight MrFarFromRight is offline
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Ping-ponging around Europe, trying to get a publishing concern off the ground
Posts: 718

OK, I'm thinking seriously of changing my user name on here to "House Pedant"! frogprincess21ca, I've read through the 3 threads that you've started on here and I have to comment on this contradiction:
Originally Posted by frogprincess21ca View Post
we love sleeping next to each other and cuddling. [...] i don't physically want Patrick. i feel terrible. [...] i still feel the loss of the ability to love Patrick in a intimate way.
You DO "love Patrick in a intimate way"! You DO "physically want Patrick"! What's more intimate than "sleeping next to each other and cuddling"??? So you don't want to kiss him, so you don't want hot sex. As the Spanish say, "íNo te comas el coco!" [Don't eat your head!]

Frankly (and speaking personally here as a Class A1 Pervert), if I had to choose between a relationship of hot sex with no cuddling then going home to sleep alone, and one of cuddling and sleeping / waking up together but without the sex... I'd choose the latter. But DON'T let me tempt you down the path of perversion!

Seriously, you 2 love each other. You love each other physically. You just don't happen to get it on in a way that our society has brainwashed us into believing the ONLY proof of sexual love.
I don't know, but I suspect that you don't like kissing because it's an obvious prelude to other stuff that doesn't turn you on.

I could play the therapist here and ask if your distaste for sex started when Pat "couldn't get it up" or if it was the other way around. It might just be possible that one of you is afraid of unenthusiastic response from the other (= failure) (= rejection) and so a vicious circle has built up.

I don't want to downplay the physical / medical problems here, Patrick needs to get supportive (concerned) advice.

But don't overdo the worry -> stress -> pressure on the sex front. Relax! Enjoy the cuddling! Don't eat your heads!
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