Originally Posted by nycindie
After reading your story, I changed my opinion - I don't think you should walk away.
I think you should RUN and don't look back!
You are being used and deserve much better. You and I are close in age, and I can relate to a lot of what you have been going through. You don't have to be desperate, though I know at times it feels like there's no one out there.
Get. Out. Now.
I admit I do feel desperate and feel like there is no one else for me. I have been single and alone for so long. There are other issues that set me apart from many people. I need to find a way to be happy alone again. Although I can't really say I was happy those long eight years.
I hardly slept last night thinking about my situation (again). I seem to have some kind of disconnect....I know that K is not good for me, does not give me what I need, and is a liar and user....BUT my mind skitters away from the thought of actually breaking it off with him now. It's like I won't let myself think it...I don't really know how to explain it. It's like I have 2 minds--the logical, rational one and the one that wants what it wants regardless of the consequences.
What I want now is very different from what I wanted when I placed the ad. Then I was looking for a sex partner. Now that I've had a taste of intimacy (because what K and I have together goes way beyond just amazing, mind-blowing sex), I want companionship, respect, support, love, friendship...the whole enchilada.