Thread: I hate it!!
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Old 03-10-2011, 12:35 AM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2,872

Originally Posted by bluevictoria View Post
I am miserable. I'm in a poly relationship by no choice of my own and I hate it. I also beginning to hate my boyfriend's nanny/housekeeper/mommy-wanna-be/girlfriend.

It's such a complicated situation and I have fallen in love with this dishonest man with a manipulative, mean nanny/housekeeper/mommy-wanna-be/girlfriend.
Love isn't a ball and chain. You love someone you don't respect. You love someone in a relationship structure you don't like. Sounds like you should leave to me.

I do not want to be poly. I do not want to be in a poly relationship. I do not want the nanny/housekeeper/mommy-wanna-be/girlfriend watching or participating in our intimacy. I do not want to be her friend. BUT, I can't seem to cut myself free from this man. I've tried at least 6 times....but I love him and am so physically attracted to him that I can't say no to him.
And he likely knows this. Its hard for someone to change if you are essentially owned.

Stop abusing yourself and figure out how to leave

I guess I'm throwing this out into the poly community to see if I can gain some clarity. Thanks for letting me vent.
Vent away. My common line is "people that suck at relationships, suck at poly relationships too"... sounds like this guy isn't exactly the best seed for you, if you can't trust him.

I would also say, that you do need to work on yourself too. Everything said above is true. Its not his job to make you happy, its your job. Imagine the pressure on him to make you happy. Rather incredible when you think about it. If you aren't happy, can't be happy and he isn't doing the things that help you feel happy in the relationship.

Can you be happy in the existing relationship setup, with him not being concerned with your boundaries and doing as he sees fit while ignoring your wants and needs too?

Last edited by Ariakas; 03-10-2011 at 12:43 AM.
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