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Old 03-09-2011, 08:32 PM
TruckerPete TruckerPete is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 999
Default Where to start?

I guess I've fallen into the trap of not updating when things are good.

Mr. A moved about two hours away. The job is great, our relationship is still strong, and even though the adjustment was a lot to deal with, we've got a schedule now and it's working for us.

Indigo got a great job as well, in his field. That's eased a fair bit of financial stress at home. We were treading water okay, but I felt like one wave would do us harm. I feel much better now.

Indigo is still "single", but he's good with that. I just want him to be happy, whether he decides another relationship will work for him, or wants to be mono to my poly.

I'm interested in someone new, we'll call him Vinny. Well, not really new. I was interested in him in the summer, but between Indigo and Mr. A I had no time for another relationship. Since the relationship with Mr. A has shifted form, I have more time.

Despite being a total flirt, Vinny is shy as hell. He knows I'm in an "open" (I've given up explaining poly to people at first go.) relationship, and that I have a boyfriend. I think he really doesn't know what to make of me, or my interest. He hasn't turned me down (I've given him plenty of opportunities to), but isn't making advances on his own.

I don't need any form of relationship with him to be happy. This, of course, makes me happy, because I do try and evaluate where I'm coming from as a general check. He's just an interesting person, whom I'd like to see what, if any, possibilities could develop with.

I should mention that both gents (Mr. A and Indigo) have given a green light for Vinny. Although, I did just have to double-check that with Indigo. He is aware that I'm interested, but we never had an actual conversation where he okayed it. Communication, yeah! (Lesson: don't assume things - check!)

In other news, I'm in the process of weaning myself off of my medication. It's been hell so far, I'm not going to lie. In a fit of frustration, I tried to go cold turkey, but the withdrawal was far too intense. For those of you interested, I was on 60mg of Cymbalta (the one giving me a bitch of a time), 2.5mg of olanzapine, 1-2mg of Clonazepam as needed, and 5 or 7.5mg of zopiclone for sleeping at night as needed.

Currently, I'm down to about 30mg of Cymbalta, 2mg of Clonazepam (helping with the anxiety from Cymbalta withdrawal), and taking zopiclone most nights to combat the nightmares from a med change. Like actual nightmares, not metaphorically speaking.

I've been on some sort of anti-depressant for the last 7 years. The only drug class I haven't tried has been MAOIs, which I'm reluctant to go to. The only other time I've stopped taking my medication was when I was on Remeron, and I decided I'd like to stop being a carb-craving zombie.

So, my entire adult life, I've been drugged. I'd like to try this life thing med-free, see if that changes anything.

Yeah. Lots going on.
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