I hate it!!
I am miserable. I'm in a poly relationship by no choice of my own and I hate it. I also beginning to hate my boyfriend's nanny/housekeeper/mommy-wanna-be/girlfriend.
It's such a complicated situation and I have fallen in love with this dishonest man with a manipulative, mean nanny/housekeeper/mommy-wanna-be/girlfriend.
I don't even know why I'm posting this. Everytime I try to get the story written down so I can share it, I get so upset and hopeless that I don't bother.
I do not want to be poly. I do not want to be in a poly relationship. I do not want the nanny/housekeeper/mommy-wanna-be/girlfriend watching or participating in our intimacy. I do not want to be her friend. BUT, I can't seem to cut myself free from this man. I've tried at least 6 times....but I love him and am so physically attracted to him that I can't say no to him.
I am normally a very confident, assertive self-empowered woman. I've never let myself be in a hurtful relationship before.
I've tried talking to him about it, but he wants what he wants. I guess the next step is to talk to the nanny/housekeeper/mommy-wanna-be/girlfriend.
I keep trying to wait until I'm not hurting so I don't go off on her but I don't seem to have any pain free days. As I said before, the situation is extremely complicated and I'm at a loss of what to do. So are my friends. They are so tired of hearing about my mess and how I can't seem to get myself out of it.
I guess I'm throwing this out into the poly community to see if I can gain some clarity. Thanks for letting me vent.
OK...I realize I can't get any meaningful feedback without explaining the situation. I have to go to work now but I'll try to get some of the details here tonight.
Last edited by bluevictoria; 03-09-2011 at 05:03 PM.
Reason: added more info