I hear you there....Im new to this all myself, and my lover and I initially agreed upon being mostly mono. As of yet she has yet to express feelings such as your lover has. At the same time I must admit that there is another woman I like but dont even know where to begin to explain my feelings and that we could date and I could still maintain my current relationship. For now we are just friends. Its really hard and confusing. Lately Ive been doing a lot of reading about poly, and it has really helped my ability to articulate my feelings. I excited to see where this all leads.