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Old 03-08-2011, 09:26 PM
hurricandrunk hurricandrunk is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: London
Posts: 11
Default opening my self up for all sorts of trouble?

I've wondered for a long time (before even discovering polyamory) if i would be best off being upfront before even starting to date someone.

Essentially i have very little interest in sex. i'm not sure why and for the time being it doesn't bother me. but it always hinders my desicion to start a relationship. no matter how nice or patient a guy or girl is evntually they are going to want sex.
I love physical closeness, emotional intimacy and being with someone, but for a long time it seemed i couldn't have both my desire for a relationship and my desire to not sleep with anyone.

But for a long time, i've known i'm not a hugely jealous person when it comes to someone i know loves me, as long as they are honest about who they've been with and to a certain degree what they've been doing. my last ex was forever getting annoyed because he'd flirt with girls when he was away and tell me and i didn't care-i knew he cared about me so it was ok.

I've been considering being up front about this, telling anyone i might date that i have very little intention of sleeping with them, but i also have no issue with them having another partner.

but is that just opening up a door for all sort of trouble? am i basically just telling my new boyfriend i dont care if he cheats on me? I'm not sure i'm ready to go into all the details of polyamory with someone ive just started dating but i dont want the worry over something as silly as sex hanging over my head.
This seems to be something you need a great deal of trust to enter into and aside for the fact i'm natuarally very wary trust is built up over time, not from the get go and starting a relationship by saying 'sure sleep with other people' seems to be playing a dangerous game??

i dont want to do this thinking its a great solution only to get taken advantage of....
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