Okay Ding..I am completely new to this and been reading all the post from the one where you didn't want to be the primary..all the way to the daughter finding the emails/pic. What I am confused about if you were ever okay with the poly lifestyle your wife was having, and just annoyed at her maturity level of handleing adult matters. As I am new to this lifestyle...very new..I am investing alot of reading time on here and your post strike me alot due to we (me and my man) have children who do live with us. And I want to make sure that mine and my husbands( not legal just been together 13 years) relationship stays primary and ultimately my kids come before that.
And maybe I am the select few who get why you would want to show them to the wifes mom and/or his family. Not sure if it would be right but I totally and whole heartly agree. As a mother I would have a 1k questions to wth is happening and I don't feel I could help anyone including my daughter if I wasn't AWARE of everything. I would hope that my kids at the right age and time in their life could talk to me about anything. I would never want to give them the idea that "sex" is dirty but I would never want to see pics per se of any of my kids. Nor do I ever want one of my kids to find pics of me/or father. And the whole privacy goes both ways imho..your wife had no reason to be on said daughters computer as you daughter would of no right on her moms. I RARELY step over the line of breaking the trust between any of my kids but they know if I SUSPECT your up to no good its all game for me...but to just up and get on their computer....never will happen and I know for me I sure aint getting on their computer to view ANY of my adult matters...and I don't mean just explicit stuff...I mean even banking or anything.
Sorry for all the ramblings..like I said I am so new to this and been reading you post and seem very well put..just a lil confused on that one thing