My fiancee and I have been together for almost five years now. About two years ago, after some...tumultuous events, I did some growing and determined that I was poly.
This was not quietly accepted by my dear wife to be. I love her to death, but she is what I would describe as "militantly monogamous". We had several very long (and extremely emotional) conversations about it. The product of that were several conclusions.
- I am polyamorous. I cannot change that.
- My fiancee is monogamous.
- My fiancee is not willing to be part of a poly relationship of any kind.
I have been functionally monogamous ever since this became an issue but I'm getting to the point where I'm feeling like I need more than a monogamous relationship. But it seems the situation is at an impasse.
There seems to be two options at this point.
1. End our current relationship and pursue a new poly relationship.
2. Commit to being functionally monogamous.
I love my fiancee very much. I have no desire to lose her. But at the same time, I want to live as I actually am. I feel...I guess somewhat incomplete otherwise.
Not entirely sure why I'm posting this. I know what the situation is, I know both possible solutions, I just need to fucking pick one. I guess just sort of laying it all out and reviewing it helps.