Sometimes these things take time. It sounds like you are aware of what you need... if you start now working towards it, it will happen... okay you don't like coffee shops, maybe you can start a poly crafting circle... a friend of mine here has a poly "stitch and bitch" at her house once a month... everyone comes and sew, knits, whatever... hangs out and talks, gets projects done. Its a great way to kill two birds with one stone.
Being creative might mean that you will meet some people without putting too much pressure on yourself. If you know this, adapt your ideas to it. I bet there are other poly people that are just as anxious about meeting people in coffee shops. Never know who you will find until you start getting on inviting and creating events that suit you.