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Old 03-07-2011, 04:33 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Alaska
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I think also-that there are always factors that haven't been taken into account. Certainly there was a big one for me which came up this January.

Maca's potential wanted to use our bedroom to be with him one night a week. In general theory-I couldn't care less about people using my bedroom. In fact his FWB has been with him in our bedroom and bed when I was out of state (not an issue) and many of our friends have used our room when we weren't here.

BUT-something I hadn't considered was, what if the person he's wanting to sleep with IS NOT a friend of mine? Am I still ok with them using my room?

In theory, sure, but in reality, my most precious belongings are in my room and before allowing a virtual stranger to use my room, I want those belongings removed, to ensure their safety. It's not a "sharing" issue, it's an issue of not knowing the person in order to know if I can trust them to respect my belongings.

I'm not talking about sexual things-I'm talking MY MAKE UP, MY CLOTHING, MY BOOKS, MY JEWELRY. Just things that matter to me, that are MINE.

This was a hell of a big issue which hadn't even occurred to me, because it hadn't occurred to me that someone who wasn't a friend would WANT to use my space. At first I felt like I HAD to say it was ok, because I already said it was ok with the FWB. But, ultimately I decided it wasn't ok and I said no (not before Maca had already said no) because this space is MY sanctuary first and foremost and if someone else is going to be present in it, they need to respect it as my santuary.
(this does go both ways, this is MACA's sanctuary first and foremost as well and anyone whose going to be present in it needs to respect it as such as well)
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