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Old 03-07-2011, 12:50 AM
MintyGum MintyGum is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 3

Sorry, if my post seemed a little rushed or I left out too much information. He's naturally a poly-person, yet has never experienced it. We've been discussing this for months and I'm trying to come to terms with it, it's just obviously a little hard to comprehend. I understand now that he'll never grow out of it.

The post regarding sex and pregnancy, of course diseases are a primary concern of mine, more so than pregnancy, because it will be challenging to find a third that is a good match for us on the first try. There will be more than one woman in our lives. I don't want our relationship to be messed up because we rushed ahead and somebody got sick when it could have been prevented...

He is definitely not looking for sex-only or threesomes. He wants a genuine poly-relationship with equal love and care shared among us all. My problem with that is that I was raised believing that I will find "the one" and that I will have children and a life and grow old with this person. It's complicated to believe in this traditional ideal when a non-traditional variable is thrust into the equation. I find myself thinking, What's the point of wanting children or long-term goals with this one man anymore, if he isn't satisfied with only me?

Then there is the third woman to console. It's not fair to her if we have the option to drop her like a hat when we decide we don't want her anymore. It doesn't work that way, she's a person too, with feelings and emotions. She will see us having children and making milestones like she's sitting on the bleachers watching our game of life with no connection to it. That kills me! I don't see anything fair with the role of secondaries in regards to the roles of primaries in this type of relationship.

Also, I'll never be able to introduce her to my family, friends, peers, coworkers, etc. as who she really is. I can't help feeling like it will be like a horrible dirty secret.
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