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Old 03-06-2011, 11:05 PM
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MindfulAgony MindfulAgony is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Seattle, WA
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Originally Posted by disillusioned View Post
Great!! NOW we're talking!

1) The fact that I ask "what am I wrong about?" doesn't mean that I think that everything I said is right. I was asking you seriously which of my ideas or statements you see as wrong.

2) 99%.... come on, you know what I mean.

But most importantly:

3) Again we are talking about orientations - gay, straight, poly, mono... the problem with this is that a monogamous lifestyle is not simply an orientation - it assumes many more things than simply a preference.

It assumes two people living together in the same space. It assumes sharing a bed, it assumes exclusive sexual relations and exclusive emotional relations, it assumes many physical and emotional borders, rules and regulation which shape your entire reality!

if you are gay then... you are gay! That's it! You are attracted to the same sex... cool! It's just your preference. That preference will shape how your life will look like, but still in accordance to the "higher" constructions.

Monogamy is on a completely different level of consequences... it related to how our reality is organized in the most basic way.

Of course gay couples still suffer from the same problems that straight couples suffer from... because it doesn't matter who the two people in the relationship are. The problem is with the nature of relationships THEMSELVES. With the idea that we "MUST" spend most if not ALL free time together. That we should be jealous of each other. That we need to spend vacations together. That we shouldn't flirt, shouldn't have sex with others, etc etc etc.

Do we understand each other better now?
Step back for a second and see the big picture.

You are on a board that focuses on non-monagomy. It's members are either passionate practitioners or supporters of non-monagomy.

Yet, your ideas have no currency here.

What's the problem? It certainly has nothing to do with comfort with the idea of non-monagomy.

My view is that it has to do with the assertion (both explicit and implicit) that monagomy is wrong, unnatural or both. This stand is something that the majority of us reject. It is indeed wrong for me. But, I can't proclaim that it is wrong for you or 99% of the population.

If you want to change the world, you'll have to find paths to influence that don't seem to be part of your current toolkit. Any leader of revolution requires those influence tools.
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“Instead of getting better and better at avoiding, learn to accept the present moment as if you had invited it. And work with it instead of against it. And making it your ally rather than your enemy.”
-Pema Chodron
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