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Old 03-06-2011, 08:44 PM
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louise101 louise101 is offline
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 12

Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
Jealousy is usually a fear or needs not being met. You said in your post what need is not being met... companionship with like minded people. So go and create that for yourself. You are responsible for opening doors that allow things into your life... it sound like your partner has shown you a door, you could take it, or find your own.

It sounds like you need to get out and do some stuff. Go to some things on your own maybe and see who you meet. The only way to meet people in person is to go to places in person. I suggest going and having no expectation of finding instant friendship. Go to something you know you will enjoy and just sit back and observe the first or second time...

Maybe a poly event? If there isn't one in your area, put the word out to those you know that are poly or interested and meet them somewhere for coffee, or drinks or whatever... start a group that meets to talk about some issues like jealousy. Not only could you make some like minded friends, but find some others that are going through similar things and be able to bounce issues off of them for support.

I do need to get out, there just don't seem to be enough hours in the day/week/month for that. I'm working and studying for the bar exam (not taking it until 2012 but I've been out of school for 5 years, I need the full year and a half to study), I want to spend time with my kids, I have a craft business that I'm trying to keep going to bring in a little extra $$$... plus, around here anyway, going out requires money. Which we have, but just enough to get by... there's not a lot of extra to hang out at a coffee shop or anything. And I've been out of "public life" for so long... I'm not even sure I remember how to talk to people I don't know (or that I know through my husband, I'm great at sharing friends with him, LOL).

I know no one in the life, except on the message boards. My husband has a circle of friends at school that know our views (because they know both my husband and our girlfriend - they came out to a few of their close friends), but around here... no one knows and I don't know anyone. I looked for "meetups" but the closest is 4 hours away. And with everything else I have going on, I'm not sure I'd have the time to organize anything of that nature.

I'm not a very public person, I'm definitely a home-body which doesn't help the emotional (read: lonely) aspects of this life. I know that next year will be better. We are getting a place where he is that is big enough for me and the kids to go and stay for a week or so throughout the year, so all of us (the whole triad) can have more opportunities to be together, but it would also take some of the pressure of driving off my husband (it's a 14 hour round trip for him to come home, that's a lot of wasted study time for the weekends he gets to come home). And the best news is that he'll be finished with school a year from May. Hip, hip hooray! So this separation is only temporary.

Now... to figure out something cheap to do to get out of this house and try to meet people for the few hours I have available in the month. LOL

Thank you!
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