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Old 03-06-2011, 06:51 AM
ladyjai ladyjai is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 3
Default Part-Time Relationships and Communication

Hey folks... I'm looking for advise and examples. (I'm 30, female)

I'm a part-time girlfriend to a couple. I have been dating them for one year as of today. (my relationship with lady has become asexual, but still hug, kiss and snuggle) However, my time with them is restricted. I spend one day with just him (while she's at work), and one night with the two of them, and then some online time, which is rarely long enough to allow to get into deeper issues.

I try to not to let my issues drag us down. However an ongoing battle with depression has shattered my self confidence. (the term "secondary" hasn't helped) I haven't brought up my jealousy of them, or the times when i feel so incredibly insecure…. since i feel:
- those are my issues, and I should be the one to build my own self confidence and that relying on other people to tell me who i am is the sure path to disaster
- she has had some jealousy struggles of her own and needs him to put her first in many ways
- and i don't want to be an extra drain, or make him have to choose between two of us, since that would make him feel bad. I know he loves the both of us.
- and I get so little time with them, i don't want to waste it with things that may end up coming across as manipulative or silly to bring up since i don't expect them to change
- part of me is afraid that if I reveal some of this, I'll be seen as too much of a burden and i'll get kicked to the curb. I think this is an irrational fear, but it plays in the back of my mind.


I am working on my self confidence, and I think part of that is being able to talk about this with them… I guess I just bite the bullet… just.. i grew up in a family that didn't talk about the big personal stuff, so… not really sure how to. I guess it is like the other personal stuff I talk about. This just feels like there is more at stake…
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