I think the biggest surprise for me was how much more comfortable I am with Maca and how much more in love with him I am now.
I knew I loved him. I knew I didn't want to leave. But I don't think I had a clue exactly HOW damaging my attempt at being "mono" was to our relationship.
Being able to be real with him has allowed me to feel more loving and more loved by him. I feel more secure and more confident about myself, less self-conscious....
In fact, I was always worried about the other "hot" women he could be looking at-even though I knew he wouldn't cheat and I knew he loved me. I figured he was here more out of obligation.
Now, I FEEL his love, his attraction to me, his desire... and I feel that way towards him... I feel more free TO allow myself to feel those feelings towards him... almost like before, if I did, I was fostering the "attack" upon my true self...
"Love As Thou Wilt"