My biggest surprise about being poly is the reality that one relationship doesn't "make up" for the others. This hit me after one of my relationships ended abruptly due to things outside my control. I was absolutely devastated and inconsolable.
I had assumed for some reason that the existence of these other deep connections would cushion the blow. Nope. If it did, not by much. The pain I felt was the loss of the UNIQUE connection itself. The depth and number of additional connections could not account for the loss of the one. And so, the pain was as deep and wrenching as it was before Poly.
What has been your biggest Poly surprise?
Male, Straight, Poly
“Instead of getting better and better at avoiding, learn to accept the present moment as if you had invited it. And work with it instead of against it. And making it your ally rather than your enemy.”