Limerence, loneliness, fear, and desperation can lead us into making horrible mistakes, the like of which fills us with shame. On that level, I can sympathize with your metamour's position...
People are capable of change, and forgiveness is a transforming virtue.
That being said, though, I'd personally trust her about as far as I could spit a rat, and I doubt (though I can't say for certain) that I'd suffer her presence in my life in any capacity.
Really, you are the only person who can make that call. You were treated with outrageous callousness, but you also have something you feel is worth hanging on to.
I am a big fan of poly, and I think it's a wonderful lifestyle. But no one should have it foisted on them unwillingly. That feels almost like a form of rape to me, and it makes me sick to think about it.
Hinge of a V relationship with my husband (Thumper) and boyfriend (T-Rex). Also, mother of a 6 y/o girl by my husband.
My poly story begins here
. Now with new blogging