I guess I was just wanting to get it out, I haven't talked about it to anyone. It's a hard topic to bring up to people. Eventually, I will make the decision. In part I already have. I'm currently in France for 3 month due to school. I've given him free rein for the most part. I guess my insecurities lie in not being the primary even though I'm married to him, secondary would suck. So I'm not sure how to fix this emotion. Maybe it's not necessary to, but at the same time stuff happens. Even if we have the best intention. He might fall in love someone who becomes more important. This is also where I'm afraid that I wouldn't be able to control jealousy, not the physical part but the emotional.