We put strict limits on the friendship. He is also married, and very much loves his wife. I was more open to sexual exploration and pushing the boundaries than he was. We had infrequent sexual encounters (0-6 a year), but lots of hugs and other forms of touching.
I know what you mean about the keeping it secret thing. I find I need to either know everything or know nothing. I think that my husband would want to know. But I know that apart from the sex issues, he is very happy being married to me. My counsellor said at first that I should tell him, but not yet as I am not coping well, but then she said perhaps I shouldn't.
Do you think that there is any hope that I will be able to get over this while working with him still, or do I need to quit? Hearing him laugh and watching him lunch with what feels like anyone but me is very hard to handle.
Thanks for the good wishes. Not having anyone to talk to about my feelings is part of the pain.