Originally Posted by SimpleSimian
I know that's not how it works, and I know I have a significant amount of social programming in the way, but I find the idea of being devoted to a single individual and living a long life together as best friends to be a very attractive method of living. My partner is my rock, my island, in a sea of chaos, and I am hers. That's romantic to me.
A social support network made up of family and friends (and friends who we consider family) is one thing, but multiple romantic partners is another.
I just wanted to say, I find the idea of being devoted, living a long life together with my best friends a very attractive idea as well. My (two) partners are my rock, my island, my safety in this sea of chaotic life. If it weren't for them, I'd be long dead. I believe the feeling is mutual. It's romantic to me as well.
The only key difference is, I have two and you have only one.
GG and I've had that depth of relationship 18 years.
Maca and I for 13 years.
I don't want to "play around" with sex partners. Like you, I want devotion, forever, romance, dependability, love.
We're all a little different, but I think some of the ideals that mean a lot to you, are found in poly-dynamics.
(I'm glad that you found some helpful stuff in those links)
Originally Posted by Tonberry
Polys usually don't force monos to become poly and date other people. What changes isn't the mono person. What changes is what they can expect and require from their partner.
But I want to state my poly point of view here: a mono partner will tell me they have a say not just in the relationship we have together (which is self-evident to me) but in any relationship I might have. Ideally, they want to restrict them to none at all, which is hard for me to wrap my mind around, since my desire to have several partners doesn't affect in any way relationships my mono partner might have outside of me. To me, being poly affects my relationship with my partner to some extent, but leave the rest of his life his own. My partner being mono and wanting me to be mono affects my life even outside of him, outside of the range of our relationship. It feels much more intrusive to me.
In a successful mono/poly relationship, I feel that both partners are themselves. The mono partner is mono, the poly partner is poly.
A real equivalent to a poly person having to be mono would be a mono person having to be poly. My being poly doesn't change my partner's identity as a mono person.
I just wanted to tell you tonberry-I thought these were some GREAT points.