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Old 03-04-2011, 08:40 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

Originally Posted by DrunkenPorcupine View Post
To me, EVERYTHING about poly is individualist in nature. My relationship with myself, my relationship with others, theirs with me. The synergy, of individuals working in concert, is AMAZING and SPECIAL to me. Ignoring the individual would lessen all of that for me.

So when I see the "Poly Leadership Summit" and "national coming out day", that seems like trying to build a "culture". And admittedly, we sort of have that (we do have out own lingo!).

I have no problem with pride. I certainly want people to feel comfortable being themselves. I DO have a problem however, when it becomes "a movement" or "a group".

I'm not an activist. I just want to live my life. I don't see people as polyamorous or monogamous, as in an orientation; I see relationships as being such. How I choose to conduct my relationships is not all of who I am. Now that I am dating, I do discuss polyamory with guys if it comes up, but I don't even see it necessary to use that word in talking about having multiple relationships. I don't really even care for the word polyamory. If I choose to live a certain way, and I'm a private person, I'll figure out whomever I wish to know that about me. Why should they care, anyway? I don't want to be in a movement, I want to be seen as an individual. It's bad enough I already get judged for my age, gender, nationality, etc. I'm not crazy about being categorized.

I think it's great when polyamorous relationships get positive coverage in the press and media, but what am I going to come out about? "Hello! I like to have more than one partner! I know how to love lots o' people!" So what? Who asked? It would feel like calling attention to myself in a boastful way. At least that's how it would seem for me.

I feel like I can touch others and effect change or bring about acceptance in society one person at a time, just by being comfortable with who I am and how I live, and letting people see that as I interact with them in my daily life -- not by jumping on a bandwagon.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

Click here for a Solo Poly view on hierarchical relationships
Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.

Last edited by nycindie; 03-04-2011 at 09:23 PM.
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