Originally Posted by disillusioned
I'm not saying orientation is learned, exactly the opposite. It is coded into your DNA and you are born a certain way. And your core sexual and emotional behavior is coded in you too, and I'm saying it is not monogamous.
You are all really nice and open people. I have an advanced degree in the social sciences (but I'm not American as you can tell) so I look at things in an academic and scientific way. I had articles published in my field and won awards for some of the things I wrote. We are just looking at things from a different perspective, you talk about the everyday experiences that people have here, I talk about the nature of our race.
Step down off your soapbox a little here... whether or not we are 'coded' as a species to be monogamous or non-monogamous... it IS somewhat presumptious of you to come in here spouting these things as the be all end all truth of things... particularly on a board that is supportive of both poly and mono people... neither are wrong ways to be... and coding? it may just be possible for 'rogue' coding to be out there - coding people as monogamous... (*noting I do not agree with the OP on this topic - i do not regard monogamy as 'rogue' i am simply relating it in answer to the terms the op was using)
if it is in the DNA it is still possible for people to be born monogamous, just as it is possible for people to be coded poly... it doesn't matter in the end - because in the end we each are who we are and that is what is at the heart of places like this - helping each of us accept ourselves as we are... and our partners.. however many we may have.
Essentially though the reason you are being jumped on and argued with is the patronising air to your posts... woop de do - you won awards - guess what i got medals in gymnastics and awards in chemistry/physics - doesn't make me an expert or in the slightest authorised to coach anyone in the fields - it also doesnt give me the right to put down the thoughts or opinions of anyone else - in any way shape or form
back up and slow down...
Edit: and the main reason I was answering this thread in the first bloody place... life would be far easier if the relationship 'norms' were not taught socially or in the education system... and by that i mean any relationship - gay/straight/bi/trans/mono/poly whatever ... ALL should be taught or none... I feel the seem about religions... but that is just me and my opinion