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Old 03-04-2011, 04:37 AM
Quath Quath is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 504

Originally Posted by redevil View Post
With that said, he spent years researching, looking for his own little "loophole" to get out. In times of stress, given a chance he will return to the church for comfort.
I work with an "agnostic" Catholic. Basically, he likes the culture, but doesn't accept all the dogma. He told me about growing up in Catholic school.

One day, the nuns are teaching him about divorce. They said that the church doesn't recognize it. So "remarrying" was really adultery since they did not recognize the original divorce. If the person died, they would go to hell because they could not ask for forgiveness for a continuous sin. So if the person wanted to avoid hell, they could not remarry.

My friend asked the nun a question: "Can't the man kill his ex-wife and ask for forgiveness for that?" The nun realized that it would work according to the theology she had just taught. But she didn't want to promote murder as a way to get around the divorce issue. She was kind of stuck.

Soon after that, I heard that Israel sells all of its bread to this Egyptian man to "hold on" to for a day or two because they are not suppose to have the bread over some holiday. After the day or two, the man sells it back (with a little money for his profit).

I then heard about some Jews who are suppose to do no work on Saturday. They can not even push the button on an elevator. So they may live in apartments where the elevator continuously goes up and down while stopping on every floor so no one has to push a button.

All of that just made me wonder about all the loopholes people find in trying to thwart what they think is God's will. They are silly when looked at from the outside of the religion and they make God out to be some petty deity who blindly makes up nonsensical rules.

If his family chooses to blame someone I would rather it be me as they can't get in my head the way they do his.
I dated an ex-Mormon. Her ex-husband was still Mormon and he was very lax about it. Then he realized he was falling way behind with child support. So he refound his Mormon beliefs and tried to get my girlfriend's children taken away because she was now an atheist. I quickly learned that other Mormons will lie to help save children from being raised by Mormons.

In finding poly, Lobster has said many times that he feels more connected to the acceptance and open honesty that comes with the life then he ever did with the religion he was raised in. It provides for a much better environment. Ever glimmer of understanding and acceptance that he has, is followed by his mother's voice and a guilt trip that lends itself right into feelings of insecurity.
I feel that polyamory is rooted in honesty. It is about being honest with your feelings, desires and who you are. I see most religions are about conformity and hiding desires (there are some good counterexamples to this though).

I don't think that I'm being entirely clear on things but I'm at a loss as to how to better explain myself. I don't want to change him, rather allow him to find a way to allow the option of there being something not socially accepted by the church.
You may want him to give a try. I have talked to some ex-Mormons who said that that website really helped them out a lot.
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