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Old 03-04-2011, 01:58 AM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

Hi there. I am always skeptical about long-distance relationships in which someone says they're in love with a person whom they've never met in real life. In my humble opinion, the kind of chemistry and deep connection that makes love possible really only happens after you spend time with someone in person. Til then, it's just smoke and mirrors, even if you've video-cammed or skyped or whatever. That's just how I see things like this, take it or leave it. I have nothing against LDRs -- heck, I once had one for over a year with someone in New Zealand (and I'm in New York) -- but an LDR really can't be counted upon unless the people involved have met at some point and had the experience of being together for real. Ten years is a really long time, I grant you that, but without having ever met her that amount of time also makes a lot of room for fantasy. Really, you say you know her, but do you? Is she really separated from her husband for the last two years, as she says, or is it some other kind of situation? When she says she's poly, does that mean it's something new or she's been living polyamorously all along? She could be radically different from who she seems to be in emails and on the phone.

I think the best thing to do is plan a visit -- not uprooting your life to move there, for chrissakes -- a visit! Meet the real person and get to know who she is in the flesh, and see if she is someone with whom you actually would want to engage in a polyamorous tangle, or any kind of relationship for that matter. Good luck!

And since you're a Cure fan...

A Thousand Hours

For how much longer can I howl into this wind?
For how much longer
Can I cry like this?

A thousand wasted hours a day
Just to feel my heart for a second
A thousand hours just thrown away
Just to feel my heart for a second

For how much longer can I howl into this wind?
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

Click here for a Solo Poly view on hierarchical relationships
Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.

Last edited by nycindie; 03-04-2011 at 11:51 AM.
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