I will add one more thing to your list Catfish. 4. Call her up and talk to her husband.
This woman says she is not doing well in her marriage? .... and she is poly.... and she disappears.....
I see some red flags here. Maybe she isn't really doing badly in her marriage, she isn't poly but cheating with you and she is cheating with someone else also, hence disappearing on you. She could actually be getting along great with her husband too.... another possibility there.
You know nothing of any of what is going on for her... sorry, but I think she is playing you and I think you need to find out more before buying a ticket to see her. Why not find out if it will be money worth spending.
I would tell her you are thinking of coming over and are so excited to meet her friends and family.... especially your new buddy and metamour.... her husband! YAYS ALL AROUND!!!! You can be honestly excited about this... I don't mean to sound sarcastic... after all, you are going to meet her if this goes well.
I wonder what her reaction would be? It could be awesome and she is getting the spare room ready within a day, or you could be met with a wall of shit flying right at you....or silence.... the only way to find out is to start asking questions and talking to her husband! In my opinion, making sure other partners are on board is crucial. At the very least making sure they know I exist. This from some experience.
I know you think you love this woman and in your own way you do... until you know her truth and actually meet her and are in a position to take on some of the responsibility of being with a woman with kids and a hubby, I think I would proceed with caution and some realism.
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